Oh Just........ Nevermind

There is no charm which I can possibly offer to you today,
it seems that by and large I have nothing important to say.
It seems that my humor, and insight are simply awkward,
My down is up, my black is grey, my growth is backward.

Why do I evangelically feel some need to reach out to you,
TO please you the only thing I could ever accomplish or do.
Is that which thing, above all else that I instinctively fear,
Which is to simply fade away, and to casually disappear.

In this my soul is stretched to each side from its middle,
While the dark of obscurity slashes away with a sickle.
Continued torment, seems like a very real possibility,
While dejected slinking away also seems to suite me.

In either case let the limbo at long last finally be over,
Let me feel the soft relief as if like a cushion of clover.
Let the bitterness fade to the loamy, earthy scent,
I have no more need of the reaching, or to vent.

Like the last bars of sunlight, the deepening dusk,
Like a lover leaving only their now fading musk.
Take all my ivity, and leave me syncope to you,  
Letting you rest peacefully with no more ado.

I hope you live well, but as a selfish person,
I hope that you wonder about all that fun.
The fun in the doting, loving, and joking,
The significance in never ever faking.

Suffice to say, that I’m not clever,
Streaks of grey hands of leather.
Simple smile, nothing designer,
Not cocky and always kinder.

So keep flittering around,
With nothing profound.
Its easy lady to tell,
Like a ringing bell,
You wear it well